Thoughts: Be that

I would say that I’ve been on a tad bit of a journey since I first started this blog a little over a year ago. A small one. A NBD and minor one.

(This is probably the biggest and worst joke I will ever tell. I promise, I’m funnier than this.)

But the point I’m making without my lame joke is that I started this blog because a ton of figure-yourself-out stuff was going on in my life and while I worked it out in real life I wanted to talk about it online because what’s more existential than that??

In the time that’s passed from then to now (funny how time always manages to do that), I’ve encountered zillions of amazing books and articles and movies and people and trips and experiences as the less than great versions of all of those things made their way out. And it’s been wonderful except for the days when it sucks, but I learned the following spiritual truth over these journey-filled days and now I will share it with you:

“There will always, always, always be days when it sucks.”

THAT BEING SAID, what do we do on the sucky days that pop up (or start to last) in the midst of all the impressive life-work that we’re doing?

Revert and crawl back into bed with Doritos?

No. (Unless it’s Saturday.)

Generally speaking, no. Instead, we continue to act as if we’ve attained all those things (the job, the house, the guy, the freedom, [insert your thing here]) we’ve been working so hard for, anyways. We make the choice on good days and on bad days alike to view the world as THAT person.

Ok, cool, so wtf does this mean?

I’ve been reading like I never do (wow that joke wasn’t great, either), and I came back across this idea of visualization – because I googled it. And I wrote about it last year and how to do it and whatnot because I became really into it and into a lot of other things that were about helping our hearts and our souls and ourselves because even though I strayed for a bit, you always come back home.

But when I came across (googled) visualization again the other day, there was this girl who was kind of a visualization expert (if that’s even real), and she said something I thought was really super interesting and potentially unfairly difficult.

She suggested that instead of waiting for the things you’ve been working for and dreaming towards and visualizing, you should start acting like the version of you who already has them.

So this is how it works:

You don’t just focus on wanting things but you get down to the meat of how having those things would make you feel. And once you can put your finger on those feelings you are craving, you start the exercise of figuring out what else, in the meantime, can give you those feelings.

So, for example, say you want a new job. Why do you want a new job? Write it out. Get to the bottom of it. Maybe you’re wanting to do something you’re passionate about. Maybe you’re trying to use or build a particular skill set. Maybe you want to feel energized. Maybe you want to feel accomplished.

Let’s say it’s the feeling accomplished thing. Now it’s time to think what else might help you generate that feeling in the meantime. Maybe you always wanted to learn a foreign language. Download Duolingo now and DO IT. Maybe you always wanted to start a blog, or go to the gym more, or run a marathon. Do it, do it, do it (with the appropriate training, of course). The point is, you want your new job so you can feel a sense of accomplishment. And yes, having a new job will grant a certain sense of accomplishment that may not be fully fillable by other accomplishments. But you can and should still find the means of feeling accomplished in other ways.

The idea is twofold. First, you can limit your suffering by defining and finding that feeling you’re longing for. And, second – the energy created by one accomplishment very well might attract the next.

So, it only helps us to decide that we are going to start being that person now. We are going to start having those feelings now. That goodness we think we have to wait for because only one possible thing can fulfill it? We are gonna have that goodness now. In our own special way. On our own special path.

That person we can’t wait to be? Be that person now.

And once you believe that you can be, I think a myriad of things may start to happen.

You attract the life you wanted.

You limit the disappointment you experience while you wait.

Or, you create a different form of happiness that you never knew you wanted in the first place.

I don’t know how scientific or unscientific all of this really is (maybe and/or most definitely the latter), but I guess maybe visualizing, or manifesting, or both, or neither is way more chicken-or-the-egg, way more circular than what most of us have ever taken the time to really think through.

So be the dream you’re dreaming, the wish you’re wishing, the hope you’re hoping for. Create it for yourself by understanding yourself. Maybe it will help.

It certainly can’t hurt.

And, for that reason alone, I hope you’ll try.

Xo Charlene

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