Thoughts: Let’s talk about Bobby Flay

It’s been almost (exactly? I think?) 1.5 months since I started Things I’m Thinking, and I’m already so grateful for/happy about the community that’s starting to form here. But, since this is all still relatively (extremely) new, I feel like it’s time for us to have another Get to Know Each Other moment, where we (you) get to learn a little more about one another (me), because we’re all friends here!

So that’s why I want to talk about Bobby Flay.

I LOVE Bobby Flay.

(Yes. Like that.)

I have never in my whole life loved anyone who is even remotely similar to Bobby Flay except for Bobby Flay. Bobby in all his Flayvor. Bobby Flay-vor! Is that a thing yet? (According to Google, no.)

Who is Bobby Flay? I know no one on the face of the planet would ever have such a question, BUT in honor of responsible journalism, I’ll use this moment to make sure we are all on the same page. To simplify Wikipedia’s intro paragraph, Bobby Flay is basically a chef/restaurant-owning/TV-show-hosting/cooking-competition-winning BOSS. Actually, no. Not basically. That is point-blank who he is. That’s like four jobs. Count them!

And here’s a visual:

Ugh, just look at him!! Now, I will reiterate that Bobby Flay is not my traditional celebrity crush, which is why I’ve historically tiptoed around the declarations of my love. But, lo and behold, EVERYONE I KNOW WHO KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING HAS A CRUSH ON BOBBY FLAY. It’s the whole-package-kind-of-thing when it comes to B. Flay. You have to experience the full essence (via your TV set) to totally appreciate what all of us Flay-lovers are swooning over. You’re either with us or against us! But here are the reasons why you should be with us:

The accent: Bobby Flay is NYC born and bred. Everything about him screams: Don’t let the apron fool you, I’m a deli-coffee-drinking, subway riding, Big Apple OG. This makes him relatable. This makes him one of the people! And this means he has THE most New York accent ever, which does the same thing for me that a British accent does for just about everyone else.

Listen to him!

P.S. – I swear to you I was writing that comment about Bobby Flay taking the subway before I found this clip. And now I will only ever take the subway anywhere until the fateful day when we are sharing a car. Preferably one with air conditioning.

He loves cats. I don’t really like cats. But Bobby LOVES cats, and I love that because it adds an animal-loving-level of complexity to that rough-around-the-edges New Yorker exterior! One of his restaurants in NYC is actually named GATO, which literally means ‘cat’ in Spanish. And no, I haven’t been yet, but when I do go, you will know, and hopefully Bobby will be eating directly next to me, and the angels will be heard on high. In the meantime, here is Bobby with his cat Nacho, who is absolutely and for sure living a better life than any of us.

Also, here is a link to Nacho Flay’s Insta because you probably care.

His dance moves.

I am so happy right now.

His mouth. Bobby Flay is a smack-talker but in the endearing kind of way that makes even the person on the receiving end of his smack-talking giggle and love him more. He’s a fully classically trained chef and has cooked in countries I haven’t even been to, but he’s still basically your friend who watches football on Sundays spewing the best one-liners. One time when he was cooking against another chef, he shouted, “DON’T CALL IT A COME BACK!” and I fully believe he knows 1.) That that is an L.L. Cool J song, and 2.) At least 80% of the rest of the words. Which, by default, makes him your coolest classically trained chef ever.

Beat Bobby Flay. Ok, so Bobby Flay is a miracle on all his shows but he is a glowing rainbow of miracles on Beat Bobby Flay. The entire premise of the show is for other chefs to come and challenge Bobby Flay to a 45-minute cook-off of their signature dish. They can pick ANYTHING THEY WANT. Bobby doesn’t know what they’re gonna pick until half a second before the clock starts. And then he beats them almost a zillion percent of the time. It’s insane. Half the time he’s being challenged to cook something I haven’t even heard of! Sometimes he’s being challenged to cook something that even he’s barely heard of! One episode he was challenged to cook tiramisu and he was all, “ok…but what am I supposed to do for the rest of the 35 minutes?” SO HE LITERALLY STARTED MAKING PEOPLE BURGERS. And ok, he lost that episode, but he didn’t even lose unanimously (according to the blind taste test)! And, I’m sorry, but if you start cooking burgers in the middle of a tiramisu challenge, and still produce a tiramisu that almost beats one that someone spent 45-minutes making, I’m gonna be obsessed with you. Sometimes I swear Bobby just loses so that they don’t have to change the name of the show to (You Will Never) Beat Bobby Flay (Fool).

And lastly, he asked for an Easy Bake Oven for his eighth birthday. The way the story goes, his dad apparently wanted him to ask for a G.I. Joe because that would be more “gender-normal” but NOPE, Bobby’s busy over here trailblazing against stereotypes at eight years old. Also, I’m not sure if Easy Bake Ovens are still a thing but, if they are, how are they not leveraging this story??? Maybe they are. Honestly, I pay zero attention to Easy Bake Oven. BUT, if they are not, this is their entire marketing angle! This is the product endorsement a company DREAMS of! Easy Bake Oven, if you’re a thing, and if you’re not doing this already, then you’re doing it wrong. Call me if you want (to pay me an hourly wage for) consulting!

Oh, also, here is Bobby Flay sweating and doing some yoga:

So the moral of all of this is that I love Bobby Flay and I’m not afraid to show it, the same way you should proudly proclaim your love for the things that make you happy (preferably Bobby Flay), too! Also, if you got through this post, we are now incrementally closer than we were when you started it.

Progress!

Xo Charlene